machine

- Gnomes do it with machinery.

- Soldiers do it with a machine gun.

jack

- "You ruined my jacket! Kill him A LOT! --> The original quote from Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

- I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.

cactus

- "Never try to cuddle a cactus."

- The world is like a cactus, except the pricks are inside.

lad

- "Science is not a crutch, but a ladder." - Chris Feree

- An ass is but an ass, though laden with gold.

daddy

- "Executive Suite, n.: A sugar daddy."

- "Mommy's all right, daddy's all right, they just seem a little weird. Surrender, but don't give yourself away. --> The original quote from Cheap Trick"

badge

- "Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers! --> The original quote from UHF"

- "Snert, n.: A person, usually preteen, who disrupts chat rooms in an attempt to earn a Junior Hacquer D00D merit badge at the expense of other users of that service."

safer

- "Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. --> The original quote from Helen Keller"

- Criminals LOVE gun control - makes their job safer.

wag

- "You might be a Republican if... you've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage."

- All asses wag their ears.

sage

- {ÄÄÄÄÅììììììììì Tagline anchored to message ììììììììÅÄÄÄ}

- Thoughts in this message are weirder than they appear.

jail

- "You were in jail... You had no hope... So I took the liberty of bullshitting you. --> The original quote from Blues Brothers"

- Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

main

- Life is a perpetual drunkeness. The pleasure passes, but the headache remains.

- The main problem with old age is that you don't grow out of it.

wait

- The foolish and unwary find waiting death. - Drow Proverb

- Íå goes long barefoot that waits for dead man's shoes.

pall

- "She had that caffeinated coffeehouse look... her skin had the pallor of someone raised in a closet."

- "The prospect of Christmas appalls me. --> The original quote from Evelyn Waugh"

ballerina

- "A famous ballerina's protege-lover could be said to be under her tutelage."

- "I don't understand anything about ballet; all I know is that during the intervals, the ballerinas stink like horses. --> The original quote from Chekhov"

dam

- Hire the handicapped - give a Fundamentalist a job.

- Scare a fundamentalist: Say you are a cannibal, too!

yam

- "Cogito ergo spud. I think, therefore I yam."

tan

- Oaks may fall when reeds stand the storm.

- Standers-by see more than gamesters.

lance

- "We recently purchased a \"Ph balanced complexion bar\". In layman's terms, this translates to \"soap\". --> The original quote from Rustan Leino"

- "Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out."

band

- "Lux soap will make your husband gay." From a late '30's ad.

- Love thy neighbor, but don't let her husband catch you.

pane

- "You can never get ahead by getting even. --> The original quote from Japanese proverb"

- Japanese Accountants do it in strange forms.

hang

- Honours change manners.

- Name not a rope in his house that was hanged.

nap

- Indianapolis 500 pit crews DO IT under 21 seconds.<--= Unhappy women!

- Rice Crispies do it with Snap, Crackle, and Pop.

papa

- "Spiderman should be mandatory reading for the papacy. --> The original quote from John Dobbin"

jar

- "You are in the bell jar. --> The original quote from Reality Bites"

- A small date stump props up the water jar.

carrot

- "Corn isn't a problem. It's on the edible list. Corn, peas, carrots, lettuce in some situations, pickles, potatoes, string beans in some situations. --> The original quote from John Dobbin"

- "Life is like a carrot. Long and hard and orange and chewy when steamed."

dart

- "Hey, I may not have a biological urge to hunt giraffes, but I'm seriously working up a desire to hunt them for fun. Maybe with darts, since I don't really know what I'd do with a giraffe. --> The original quote from John Dobbin"

- "I was too busy laughing at the image of you running across the Sahara with tournament darts, trying to bring down a giraffe. --> The original quote from Megan Coughlin"

nary

- He was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

- The sacred lies in the ordinary.

wash

- Head cook and bottle-washer.

- Òî wash one's dirty linen in public.