naughty

- Hey Santa, how much is it for the list of naughty girls?

rave

- Ideas must work through the brains and the arms of good and brave men.

- Fortune favours the brave (the bold).

favor

- My brain is my second favorite organ.

- Send Monopoly money to your favorite TV Evangelist.

lawyer

- Just remember lawyers do it to you legally.

- How many lawyer jokes are there? One. The rest are true.

bay

- "Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity. --> The original quote from R.I. Fitzhenry"

- My Ford Fiesta floats OK, it's in the garage, not in the bay

may

- Love will creep where it may not go.

- Oaks may fall when reeds stand the storm.

lazy

- "You might be a Republican if... you ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch, \"lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society.\""

- Facts are lazy and facts are late.

sculpt

- "The Ten Commandments are banned from the schoolroom, but pornographic videos are permitted. Or, as someone has quipped about the notorious sculpture by Andres Serrano, a crucifix many not be exhibited - unless it is dipped in urine, in which case it will be awarded a grant by the National Endowment for the Arts. --> The original quote from Judge Robert Bork scopes the current cultural scene"

- "To sculpt an elephant, get a huge block of marble and chip away everything that does not look like an elephant."

identification

tea

- The cat shuts its eyes when stealing cream.

- Òî use a steam-hammer to crack nuts.

teal

- Neither a borrower nor a lender be; work for the IRS and steal it.

- Íå that will steal an egg will steal an ox.

heap

- Pascal programmers do it on the heap.

- Cheapest is the dearest.

gear

- "Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears!"

- "You'd be able to shift gears with your car stereo. Useful feature, that. --> The original quote from Marcus J. Ranum"

beaver

- "Lawyers are like beavers. They get in the main stream and jam it up. --> The original quote from W. Freund"

- "\"Nice beaver.\" \"Thank you. I just got it stuffed.\" --> The original quote from Naked Gun"

beck

- "The nicest thing you can do for anybody is let them help you. --> The original quote from John Steinbeck, Sweet Thursday"

- "Thinking of the kind that GPS and other AI models that attempt to reason from first principles hardly occurs at all. --> The original quote from Riesbeck & Schank "

wed

- When guns are outlawed, gun control advocates will be unarmed victims

- When guns are outlawed, gun control advocates will be unarmed victims

redneck

- "You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive."

- "You might be a redneck if your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan."

gee

- "\"You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a Gibson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose tremulo?\" \"You're a drummer, aren't you?\" \"Yeah. How'd you know?\" \"This is a travel agency.\""

- Thuggees do it with a silk rope.

see

- None so blind as those who won't see.

- The camel going to seek horns lost his ears.

zee

- "In this town of chimpanzees I was a monkey. --> The original quote from Beck"

- Crazee Edeee, his prices are INSANE!!!

needle

- "belonephobia, n.: An abnormal fear of sharply pointed objects, especially needles."

- Like a needle in a haystack.

beef

- "Take a corn dog: composed of hideous pork and beef slabs, corn meal, and deep fried cow lard, but when assembled, beauty incarnate. --> The original quote from Baked Potatoes"

- "\"This meat is hard to chew,\" Tom beefed jerkily."

week

- "\"Who is the oldest inhabitant of this village?\" \"We haven't got one; we had one, but he died three weeks ago.\""

- GARBAGEMEN come once a week.

teen

- Been ridin' broomsticks since she was fifteen.

- "Blind faith in anything can get you killed." - B. Springsteen, 1985

deep

- A great ship asks deep waters.

- Between the devil and the deep (blue) sea.

seep

meet

- Extremes meet.

- Òî make both ends meet.

legend

- "I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye. --> The original quote from Jack Handey"

- "Of all the countless folk who have lived before our time on this planet not one is known in history or legend as having died of laughter. --> The original quote from Sir Max Beerbohm"

reindeer

weird

- "Yesterday's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why. --> The original quote from Hunter S. Thompson"

- I'm weird...but around here it's barely noticeable.

gel

- "I am a Borg-again Christian. Resistance to our evangelism is futile."

- Televangelists: the professional wrestlers of religion.

welcome

- Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.

- As welcome as flowers in May.

delete

- "[From information deleted so Rohit can't make me look like a twit yet again.] But you are a twit. Acceptance is the first step toward recovery. --> The original quote from John Dobbin"

- I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.

pelican

- "Sometimes I feel like a pelican because everywhere I turn there is this enormous bill on front of me. --> The original quote from Blackadder III"

sell

- Catch the bear before you sell his skin.

- If you sell the cow, you sell her milk too.

helmet

- "I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. --> The original quote from Dave Edison"

- "Ways to annoy: Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your \"astronaut training\"."

temptation

- "You know you've reached middle age when you have two temptations, and you pick the one that will get you home earliest. --> The original quote from Lee Tully"

- Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

men

- Mend or end (end or mend).

- Self-praise is no recommendation.

yen

- "I have always had a yen for the yin and yang... so one day I'm thinking to myself, \"Why not Zen too?\" --> The original quote from Douglas Hofstadter, Godel Escher Bach"

lend

- Neither a borrower nor a lender be; work for the IRS and steal it.

- Better give a shilling than lend a half-crown.

tennis

- "I'd have to guess the noise your dryer makes when you decide to wash your tennis shoes. --> The original quote from Megan Coughlin"

- "The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities."

sense

- "Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right."

- I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

gent

- I am romantic, caring, gentle, loving, respectful. So, ya wanna fuck?

- New members urgently required for Suicide Club.

sent

- Do misbehaving witches get sent to the broom closet?

- Long absent, soon forgotten.

dental

- "Zen druidry, n.: Transcendental vegetation."

- Mathematicians do it transcendentally.

pep

- "Obscurism, n.: The practice of peppering daily life with obscure references (forgotten films, dead TV stars, unpopular book, defunct countries, etc.) as a subliminal means of showcasing one's education and one's wish to disassociate from the world of mass culture. --> The original quote from Douglas Coupland"

- "Peppier, sniglet: The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper."

per

- Ill-gotten gains never prosper.

- Prosperity makes friends, and adversity tries them.

here

- There's many a slip 'tween (== between) the cup and the lip.

- Where there's a will, there's a way.

aerosol

person

- A person has a fundamental right to defend themselves!

- Blasphemy: When a religious person dares to think.