tete

meter

- To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.

- Hurdlers DO IT every 10 meters.

veto

- "Clinton is one Bill George Bush can't veto..."

petrol

- "A gasoline carrier is like a police car, it's a petrol wagon."

neve

- Tomorrow come never.

- We never know the value of water till the well is dry.

hew

- A man who turns green has eschewed protein.

- Man shall not live by bread alone..New Testament, Matthews

hex

- "Avoid computer viruses. Practice safe hex."

sexy

- ing sexy is a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it

- I'm too sexy for this BBS, too sexy for this...NO CARRIER

key

- That's a keyboard!? Well no wonder my programs look like sheet music?

- In India they worship monkeys. We just elect them.

office

- Signal officers do it with frequency, at least until their gigahertz.

- Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent.

africa

oft

- Money often unmakes the men who make it.

- The best is oftentimes the enemy of the good.

aftermath

ogle

chair

- "[FCC chair Hundt] Reed came to his job the hard way. He went to prep school with the vice president, law school with the president, and raw talent took over from there. --> The original quote from Hodding Carter III"

- Dentists do it in chairs.

shall

- Íå who says what he likes, shall hear what he doesn't like.

- If the sky falls, we shall catch larks.

shed

- No good deed goes unpunished.

- "No good deed ever goes unpunished."

sheep

- A wolf in sheep's clothing.

- One scabby sheep will mar a whole flock.

where

- Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

- Love will creep where it may not go.

they

- If you agree to carry the calf, they'll make you carry the cow.

- The best fish smell when they are three days old.

which

- A fool may throw a stone into a well which a hundred wise men cannot pull out.

- That which one least anticipates soonest comes to pass.

child

- Happy is he that is happy in his children.

- Like parents, like children.

shin

- "Faith is not wishing to know what is true." - Nietzsche

- It is good fishing in troubled waters.

ship

- A great ship asks deep waters.

- A small leak will sink a great ship.

thirsty

- "I was thirsty and wanted a beer, but they only had Coors so I drank that instead."

- "Stupid question: Do fish get thirsty?"

rho

- "What's great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest. --> The original quote from Andy Warhol"

- "Your friendly neighborhood Atheist."

phon

- What you can do to stop obscene phone calls: Don't make them!

- I love oral sex, it's the phone bill I hate.

short

- The stains in your shorts can indicate your future!

- A curst cow has short horns.

thou

- There is no rule without an exception.

- Wealth is nothing without health.

ghoul

- "Demons are a ghoul's best friend."

thread

- "The key to keeping a thread going is saying something evocative enough with each statement that the other person(s) feel like they have to respond with 1) a retort, 2) a reply, 3) a reference, 4) a rejoinder, or 5) a rhyme. --> The original quote from Adam Rifkin"

- Weavers and BBSers DO IT a thread at a time.

church

- 2+2=5... It HAS to, my church says so!

- If money's the root of all evil, why do churches want it?

why

- If Jesus was Jewish, why does he have a Mexican name?

- Instead of being born again, why not just grow up?

vibrato

- "What do you get when you cross a vibrator with an anteater? An armadildo."

rice

- "Ignorance is free but it exacts an enormous price." - Leipzig

- Íå gives twice who gives in a trice.

hick

- Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.

- One chick keeps a hen busy.

micro

- "\"I only microwave socially, I could stop any time.\" \"I'm Adam, and I'm a microwavaholic.\" Hi, Adam! --> The original quote from Ari Rapkin"

- Radio talk show hosts do it with a microphone.

aid

- Easier said than done.

- Least said, soonest mended.

kid

- He was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

- "If one kid's good enough for God, it's good enough for you." - JB

tid

- "We are surrounded by a rising tide of idiots... --> The original quote from Rohit Khare"

- "You get paid 20% more. --> The original quote from David Copperfield, popular prestidigitator, on the difference between mere magician and master illusionist"

hide

- If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment.

- A fair face may hide a foul heart.

vide

- Rule of Creationism # 1: Claim false evidence then quietly sneak away.

- Rule of Creationism #33: Claim evidence to destroy evolution...once.

sideman

lie

- One lie makes many.

- We soon believe what we desire.

lien

- "There exist no legitimate audio tapes of me admitting to being an alien."

- I am a man--nothing human is alien to me.

pier

- "i've been doing some niping and tucking; lots of improvements in the technical description of things, grammer stuff, etc etc. i'm getting happier with it as i work. --> The original quote from Joe Kiniry"

- Copier repairmen do it with duplicity.

life

- Pro-life? Fine. GET one, and stay out of mine!

- He is lifeless that is faultless.

lift

- Camshaft Grinders do it with more lift and duration!

- Weight lifters do it with a little snatch.

fifty

- "Ways to annoy: Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles."

- Psychiatrists do it for at least fifty dollars per session.

fig

- It's one thing to flourish and another to fight.

- That cock won't fight.